usually, i am so good about this.

if i even get a whiff that i am on the stick end of a friendship imbalance, i start detaching myself. my emotional framework is simply too weak to handle liking people significantly more than they like me.

i spent so many years genuinely believing that if i was there for someone and cared for them, they would do the same in return, and it just plain does not work that way. you can't make someone love you, no matter what you do. but that isn't going to stop most people from taking what you give without reciprocation. perfectly nice people, too; they don't mean to hurt you - they're just not looking out for you because they don't care. that's not a crime.

i got burned over and over and over again, and at some point i knew i couldn't do it anymore. i cannot emotionally invest myself in people who aren't going to do the same. it isn't an option.

i've never really had a problem falling for The Wrong Guy(tm), but apparently i have a real tough time with The Wrong Friends(tm). so i thought i'd try the same strategy: with men, i just don't care about people who aren't going to treat me fairly well and stick around. if i think they will, and i find out i'm wrong, it's really not very difficult for me to stop caring about them.

i also don't jump off high places, drink and drive, shake my ass in military bars, do drugs, or vacation in the middle east. because these things are very likely to get me hurt, so i don't like to do them.

but then sometimes one or two slip through, and i just feel so goddamned stupid for caring.
:(